Happy Thanksgiving and Thank You For the Tea

Laura won a free Mary Kay makeover and a free product.  The sales agent, Mary Ann, came to our house last night.  Like any other salesperson, she was eager to see not only Laura, but anyone Laura could bring to the table (literally).  Since this was not set up until 9:00 Sunday night, and the appointment was Monday night, there was no opportunity to drag anyone else in.  So Mary Ann presented her wares to Laura and Tara.  And me. 

I did my very best impersonation of a Mary Kay customer.  I was cordially offered assistance in bringing her stuff into the house.  I made tea.  I dutifully flipped through the narrated portion on the sales catalog, only wandering onto the wrong page once. 

Our first application was lip defolient.  I looked at Laura and at Tara.  There lips were white.  According to the mirror, mine were not.  Mary Ann looked at my styrofoam makeup pallet and determined that I started with the wrong product.  She patiently reissued the white stuff.  After that I was good and obediently applied each cream and color, and pretty much did it in the way Mary Ann instructed.  I have to admit that the hand lotion kit was an instant sale for me, but some stuff I had no idea about.  I applied things, looked in the mirror, and found my after reflection to be identical to the before reflection.  But I smiled and agreed with everything.

Tara's make up looked great.  Laura's looked good too, but she wasn't quite satisfied.  She had some complaint about eyeliner, but I didn't really know what she was talking about.  Then she dashed upstairs to get her own eyeliner, and applied it to one eye.  Yup.  Her own stuff looked better.  I have to admit I was impressed with my daughters' taste in colors and skill applying the face goop.  They learned everything they know about makeup from...someone besides me.

My eye makeup was a little more, uh, complicated.  The base coat was fine.  The second color was good, except for where it stepped out of bounds.  I corrected it out.  After a brief consultation, Mary Ann, Laura, and Tara decided on a third color for me.  I applied it and immediately hated the blue smear.  I removed it and after the second caucus, tried plum.  This time Mary Ann put it on.  The jury wasn't convinced.  Then it was decided that I should try eyeliner.  Now I was nervous.  I hate, hate, hate applying eye make up and I never, ever do it well.  Mary Ann came around to my side of the table and got to work.  I tried to sit still and not scrunch up my eyes.  I held the edge of the table.  Then I gripped the chair.  I was almost finished planning my escape when she finished--with the first eye.  No one was impressed with the result.  Someone suggested I try only mascara on the other eye.  I happily complied because mascara is much friendlier than eyeliner.  No one liked that either. 

Laura noted that my eyelashes are straight and short.  I asserted that I like them just fine.  Mary Ann suggested that I tried using an eyelash curler.  The girls just laughed because they know my history with eyelash curlers.  It goes like this.  The curler comes out.  I run away.  End of history.  I have a childhood memory.  My sister used to curl her lashes.  On occasion I'd sneak into her room and practice using her lash curler.  Normal stuff.  Then one day my sister mentioned to my mother that some friend of hers was curling her eyelashes when the friend's mother walked in and startled her.  She jumped and ripped out all her eyelashes.  That story scarred me for life and I have been totally satisfied with my short straight lashes ever since. 

So, the makeover ended.  I went to bed, got up, saw that the makeup had worn off during the night.  I put on my regular makeup and went to work.  Apparently I didn't look too closely in the mirror.  Even more apparently, last night's make up was not that becoming anyway.  As soon as my homeroom came in, a girl in the front row said, "Miss, you're wearing makeup!"

"It's the same stuff I wear everyday."

"No.  You've got purple up here," she said, pointing to the outside of her eyelids.

I guess it didn't wear off.  In another class a girl asked me if I had a black eye.  Later one of the boys asked me if I was tired.  At dinner Laura observed that I had eyeliner on just one eye.  I stood at a mirror at least four times today and didn't notice a thing.  Do people really examine other people like that?  And if so, why?

While I admit to having fun last night, I am just not a makeup person.  The Mary Kay lady, of course, tried recruiting Laura.  She questioned Tara about the Mary Kay party she'd been to a few months ago.  She thanked me for the tea and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm pretty sure she's not expecting me to call for another order.  I think she's right.