After the Rutgers game BP and I went for a late dinner at IHOP. Going back to ancient times when we were in high school we always loved going out for breakfast at night. Viva la French Toast. A cheese omelet. Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity. Truly food for the soul.
Then we picked up the menu. The food police were there. They weren't physically there, as it sitting at the next table evangelizing us to repent from our homefries and turn away from bacon and sausage. But they left their calling card. Every menu item is now marked with calorie count. When I shook my head at the omelet column asking "How much is that?" I was not referring to the price. Everything I've always loved on the IHOP menu would cost over 1000 calories.
Every page is now peppered with a lower calorie, healthier selection. I could have ordered substitute eggs with turkey sausage. Instead I panicked and got a cheese steak. It was 890 calories. As the waiter approached I realized the 890 calories was just for the sandwich. The accompanying fries were another 300. I ordered it anyway. In retrospect, I still wish I'd stuck to breakfast, but I was under duress.
The cheesesteak was okay, but BP's pancakes looked better. Throughout the meal I volleyed between two thoughts. Thought A was "I should have ordered something healthier whether I liked it or not." Thought B was "The dog is going to have to take me for a long walk tonight." BP suggested that I could have ordered a bowl of oatmeal. Humbug.
As a reflect on all this I realize that the food police have gotten their way. They want us to think rationally about our food choices. They want us to feel guilty and be miserable. So next time I head off for a late night breakfast, I will solve the problem by going somewhere with a less expressive menu. This is not a sensible suggestion and I know I'm not thinking straight. IHOP is messing with my head.
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