The Saga of the Coach, Installment I

Good morning, everyone, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'm going to flatter myself that you've all been missing my blog these past few weeks and have been wondering why I haven't been writing.  I couldn't write anything of substance because it would have been a violation of the Santa Code.  If it weren't for December's cloak of secrecy I would have written about how easy I thought it would be to only Christmas shop for one husband, Billy (my future son-in-law), and two daughters.  But I couldn't risk spilling the beans on how miserable it is to shop on Cyber Monday when one daughter asked for a very specific pair of boots that doesn't actually exist in adult sizes.
Furthermore, it killed me not to tell the Saga of the Coach.  Tara and I drove an hour to buy Coach shoes and a purse for Laura.  Upon our arrival to a beautifully empty store, we discovered that the outlet doesn't sell shoes, Tara's reason for being out in the cold and dark on a Tuesday night.  My hidden motivation for being there was to find out what pocketbook Tara would like.  So bummed was she about the shoes that I had to forcefully persuade her to make any comments at all on the surrounding merchandise.  This is the child who has stopped me at every Coach display since the age of 12.  I finally had to force her to look at bags until I was satisfied that she picked out the same favorite in three different locations.  We asked a clerk the location of the nearest outlet selling both shoes and bags.  We were in formed that we could go to Atlantic City or Lancaster, Pennsylvania.  We went home empty-handed. 

At least I had a target purchase for Saturday when I was scheduled to return with Laura and Jesse, Tara's boyfriend, in search of the bag I wanted for Tara, and the shoes Jesse wanted for Tara (for which we would extend the odyssey to Freehold Mall). Overambitionsly, I also wanted Laura to pick a bag  for herself while helping me get Tara's present.

I will hold this part of the saga until tomorrow.  All this takes place two weeks before Christmas.  Are you starting to understand why I spent the month of December chanting, "I will never miss Black Friday again"?